


Finding yourself

by chocollama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Blowjobs, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I will add more tags later, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Little bit of Elounor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sex, Sexuality Crisis, Singer Louis, Slow Burn, Smut, Texting, Therapy, all kinds of nasty stuff, but dont worry about it, everyone is jealous, lots of fluff, therapist harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-05-04 14:11:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14594721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocollama/pseuds/chocollama
Summary: Louis is an award winning, word famous singer, and his life seems to be perfect. But something is missing and all his relationships fail miserably. At one point, he decides to seek out for a psychotherapist’s help in order to find out what has gone wrong with his lovelife. However meeting his therapist might take an unexpected turn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all,  
> This is my very first fic so I hope you will enjoy it :) I'm really excited for this story, I have been working on this for a longer while and I'm really enjoying the writing experience :) I'm not a native english speaker so please excuse all my grammar mistakes. Please leave a comment and share your opinions and ideas with me! :3

“Ok, let’s see this again” Louis thinks as he’s about to enter the restaurant with the blind date his management had arranged for him. “24, theater actress, dog person...” He can’t really remember more, however he got a whole document about the lady and she seemed to be an intellectual and interesting person. “Let’s just get over with this”

  
The night couldn’t have gone better, the conversation was easy flowing, they seemed to have the same interests and they laughed so much. Louis drives the lady home and opens the car door for her to follow her to the entrance of her apartment. They thank each other for the amazing night, and the lady steps forward, closer to Louis, until their bodies meet and she presses their lips together.

  
Something pounds in Louis. The kiss feels so wrong. Just like every other kiss, hook up and relationship he has had in the last couple of years. Something has never been right in his love life, he could never truly fall in love with any of his partners and he couldn’t find happiness in any of his relationships. He quickly withdraws from the kiss and says goodbye. He decides not to contact the lady again.

 

\---

 

8:00 Louis wakes up and turns off his alarm clock with a loud yawn.

“How could I even agree on such an early meeting?” he thinks to himself, but gets out of bed anyways. He quickly walks to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready to finally meet his high school best friend, Niall. Louis has just got home from tour a couple of days ago so it will be really nice to see Niall again and to catch up with each other’s lives.

  
It’s 10:07 and Louis arrives late as always. Niall is waiting for him sitting on a bench by the small bakery they both love so much. It is kind of their secret place, as the bakery is hidden so well that they never have to worry about paparazzi.

  
“Oh look, Mister Celebrity still hasn’t learned how to read the clock!” Niall jokes then pulls Louis in a close hug.

  
“Give it a rest, 7 minutes is nothing” Louis loughs as they enter the bakery. They both choose some sandwiches and some cake with their usual black tea. They head back to the bench Niall was sitting on as they are talking about the last months.

  
“Well we are working on a new project, developing the internal webportal of the company. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a lot of stress and the deadlines are really strict but I prefer these months, when we have a really strict schedule” Niall answers Louis’ question about his job.

  
“And how about your hot colleague you were talking about? Is there anything going on between you two?” Louis asks with a smirk, a couple of weeks ago Niall was only talking about that woman but suddenly he stopped mentioning her a couple of days ago.

  
“Meh, it turned out that she’s married. I might not take things too serious, but I’m definitely not a home wrecker!” Niall seems to be a little put down, so he changes the subject. “And how was your date last night? I know you, you don’t really look like you have had an amazing night.”

  
“Well I mean. It wasn’t bad but… She was pretty and funny and all… I don’t know what went wrong really. I guess she’s just not the one for me.” Louis said awkwardly. “What went wrong really?” he thinks.

  
“Lou, this is what you’ve been saying about every one of your dates lately. At least give her a chance!”

  
“I don’t know. She kissed me and it felt so wrong…” Louis is surprised he actually dared to say this out loud.

  
“Maybe because it was only the first date and your inner gentleman strikes against kissing on the first date?” Niall jokes, however Louis remains serious, deep in his thoughts.

  
“But that never stopped me before. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me Niall.” Louis admits rather sadly. They dropped the topic afterwards, for which Louis is really glad.

 

\---

 

“What do you mean you are not willing to contact her ever again?” Louis’ manager almost shouts. They have had this conversation way too often in about the last year. “Louis, what the hell is wrong? Everything you have said about that date sounds perfect, and it would be great for both of your publicity! Just like any other date I have organized for you so far! Are you secretly in love with someone? Please just give me a reason why are you doing this to me!” She’s really mad by now, her whole figure tense.

  
“I’m definitely not in love and I don’t think I have ever been. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m so sorry, I know you are trying your best and I really appreciate your work.” Louis says lowly.

  
There’s a knock on the door, a sign that the interview is about to start in 10 minutes so Louis has to get his thoughts ready. He is really glad that their conversation is over, however something tells him that they are not quite finished yet.

 

\---

 

“Hi, I’m Chad, it’s an honor to meet you. I will be your interviewer today.” The man says, shaking Louis’ hand. Chad has a rather cheeky smile, with beautiful blue eyes and a really flirty style. Suddenly Louis feels all awkward, palms sweaty, and he doesn’t understand what’s going on. He tries to calm his thoughts “It’s probably that I haven’t interacted with an unknown man for months. He’s also a lot taller than me” his eyes start to wander to his biceps “he’s also a lot stronger than me. I wonder… Wait, no! I’m probably just feeling less of a man because he’s just so good looking. He could literally crush me with his body. Wait, what the hell am I even thinking about?” Louis is so glad that this is a magazine interview. If there were any cameras, he couldn’t do this because his embarrassment is too obvious.

 

\---

 

“Louis, what was that all about?” his manager immediately questions him as they left the room.

  
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  
“You acted so awkward and confused during the whole interview. I am seriously getting worried. I think I will try to find you a good psychotherapist”

  
“What?” Louis asks, his eyes widening. “I don’t need a bloody therapist!” he blurts out.

  
“You do need one, I have no idea what’s going on in your head but I know something is not ok” Louis knows that it’s impossible to get in a fight with her so he just sighs.

 

\---

 

His manager called him later that day that he got an appointment on Wednesday at 10. He’s really surprised that for once he’s not late, in fact he is 13 minutes early. “That’s a good start” he thinks. He walks into the modern glass building, where a cheerful young receptionist greets him.

  
“How may I help you Sir?” she says with bright eyes, obviously recognizing Louis.

  
“Hm well I’m having an appointment with Doctor Styles” Louis states already feeling awkward.

  
“Yes, please go to the 4th floor and he will call you.” the girl says with a huge grin.

  
Louis slowly steps in the glass elevator, trying to collect himself. The elevator arrives to the 4th floor with a loud “PING” and Louis steps out being even more nervous than he was before. This floor is just as modern and stylish as the main floor. He sits down in the waiting area on the huge leather couch and waits for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden a man that is even younger than him comes out of one of the rooms. His jaw drops. The man has a beautiful face with huge green eyes and long brown curly hair. He lets his eyes wonder to the perfect shape of the man with the great style his clothes have. His thoughts are an even bigger mess now, then the man interrupts them.

  
“Mr Tomlinson?” his jaw still being dropped he tries to collect himself and just nods. “I’m Doctor Styles. Please follow me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo the second chapter is here! I hope you will enjoy it :3

“Louis Tomlinson. Could it be that singer guy? Well it could, but… I wonder why he seeks for professional help” Harry thinks as he’s trying to collect his thoughts before meeting his new patient. “Of course we all have our problems… Let’s go and find this out.” And with that he stands up, checks again if everything is perfectly organized in his room and heads out to the waiting area.

 

There is a man already sitting on the couch, he looks up kinda confused as Harry approaches him. “Hm he’s much more handsome in real life than I thought. He’s also a lot smaller than he seems to be on screen.” Harry thinks checking out Louis maybe a second longer than he should.

 

“Mr Tomlinson? I’m Doctor Styles. Please follow me.” He can see the other man collect his thoughts as he stands up slowly. They shake hands and green eyes meet blue but Louis quickly looks away. A lot quicker than Harry would like him to. Harry has never seen such shade of blue eyes before. Something about them were truly mesmerizing. They walk into Harry’s quiet room, where he offers him a seat opposite his armchair in another similar looking leather sofa. The room is quite spacious, modern as the whole building yet it shows some of Harry’s personal touches. There are plants of all sizes and shapes surrounding the huge glass windows as well as some bookshelves with heavy books of every subject. As they both sit down, Harry grabs a notebook and a pen. Louis looks around the room, quietly examining all the furniture while Harry examines every tiny detail of his face. “He looks tired and tense… but damn those cheekbones!” Harry tries to collect his thoughts and decides to get Louis’ attention and start the session. He starts with the formalities, telling Louis that he is a professional and he will not leak out any information to anyone. Then he raises his first question.

 

“So could you please tell me why are you here?” Harry asks in his deep voice, talking slowly as always.

 

“Well honestly my manager wanted me to come here. I wouldn’t have done it on my own will. I don’t feel like anything would be wrong.” Louis feels really awkward and all his words sound much more insecure than he would like them to.

 

“But what do you think made her come to the conclusion it would be a good idea for you to come here?”

 

Louis really didn’t want this. He definitely didn’t want to share his doubts that he was too scared to say out loud even to himself, not to share them with someone he doesn’t even know. He fidgets with the sleeve of his jumper, considering what to answer.

 

“Well she’s just mad because none of the dates she arranges for me had worked out.” he ends up saying with a shrug. Harry can see his discomfort so he changes the topic and rather asks him about his family and happy childhood memories. He can already feel that it won’t be easy to break the ice with Louis. Harry could quickly figure out that his lovelife is the topic he wants to avoid the most, however Louis’ manager asked him to focus on that especially. But whenever Harry asks the tiniest question about it Louis becomes distant and ice cold, however they can chat about any other personal topic. Harry could feel there’s something deeper behind it which he couldn’t force yet.

 

As the session comes to the end, they agree on having the next session on Friday. Harry opens the door for Louis and follows behind him back to the waiting area.

 

“I hope it wasn’t such a bad experience” Harry offers with a shy smile.

 

Louis turns around to face Harry with a sassy expression “Well then I would definitely not have agreed on a second session.”

 

“Well I’m more than glad then” Harry answers with a huge grin on his face, his dimples showing. Louis freezes for a minute. Since when does he find dimples cute on anyone except for kids, especially on a man?

 

\---

 

_The room is dark, the only light comes in from the city through the large glass windows. Green eyes meet blue and their lips suddenly meet in a hungry kiss. T-shirts are getting thrown away as they make their way to the leather couch. A deep voice whispers slowly into his ear, making him shiver. Their hands are everywhere on each other’s body. Who would have thought it’s such a good feeling to touch another man?_

 

9:00 Louis’ alarm goes off. He wakes up confused, shreds of his dream are still in his head. This is so wrong, he has to forget them. Touching another man like that is out of question, his brain is just making up crazy dreams without any real reason behind it. He would definitely not want anything like this with another man and even the thought of it freaks him out. Well, his boner says otherwise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I couldn't stop myself from posting the next chapter already. Enjoy! :3

Friday starts exactly the same way as Thursday did. Louis wakes up from another nasty dream of himself and a man whose face he can’t really remember, only his green pair of eyes. He feels terrible. Why does he have dreams like this, when he is 100% straight? And more importantly, why do these dreams give him boners? He quickly decides to pleasure himself, maybe that could prevent another sexual dream. He makes his way to the bathroom and steps into the shower. He tries really hard to think of the most beautiful ladies he has ever had sex with, but his brain is filled with images of his dreams as he touches himself. He comes with a loud moan as a memory flashes from his dream last night of the other man slowly licking up his penis. Those beautiful green eyes is all he can recall from the face.

 

He gets out of the shower feeling even more confused than before. Why would these thoughts give him such an amazing orgasm? And whose eyes are those green ones he simply cannot get out of his head? He feels like he needs to get drunk and forget all these thoughts so he quickly texts Niall whether he feels like going out tonight. Its Friday anyways! He realizes he needs to hurry up, otherwise he will be late as usual and his next session with Doctor Styles starts in 40 minutes.

 

\---

 

It’s 11:07 and Louis is still not there. Harry taps nervously on the coffee table of the waiting area. “What if he changed his mind? He would at least text me, right? Yes, definitely. What if something is wrong? Maybe something terrible has happened to him! No, no, I need to calm down, everything is probably fine. Even if he doesn’t show up…” Harry bites his lip nervously at this thought “I hope at least he is all right…”

 

A second after this thought Louis gets out of the elevator, cheeks red, he is obviously in a hurry. The minute he sees Harry he starts apologizing.

 

“I’m so terribly sorry for being this late, I just had a really messed up morning and mismanaged my time” he says quickly, running out of breath by the end of the sentence. Harry stands up and walks closer to him. Green eyes meet blue and it hits Louis immediately. The guy from his dreams was no other than his therapist. He freezes and cannot look away, no matter how hard he tries to. His brain gets full of flashbacks of the night before and Louis just wants to run away. He can already feel that he will get completely wasted tonight.

 

“No problem, I was just worried that you’ve changed your mind” Harry says putting a hand on Louis’ shoulder. The touch feels as if it burned both of them, they both move away quickly. Harry knows he should definitely not touch his patient and Louis can feel his blood run to his penis. He panics even more now, like why would only someone else’s touch on his shoulder make him think of nasty things? Those stupid dreams completely messed up his mind, he feels like he’s losing himself. They are both so shocked that they just stare into each other's eyes for a couple of seconds before Harry can finally speak.

 

“So are you ready for today’s session?” he asks, so quietly that his voice almost feels just like a whisper. Louis slowly nods as they move to the room. They are both trying to find a comfortable position but the awkwardness is still too obvious.

 

“Would you like to talk about your morning?” Harry starts. Louis’ eyes widen and he bits his lip before he simply shakes his head, trying to avoid Harry’s eyes.

 

“Ok let’s continue then from where we stopped last time” 

 

\---

 

As their time is over, Harry once again follows Louis outside to the waiting area. They agree on meeting Tuesday next week. This time the conversation was not easy flowing at all, Harry could feel how tense Louis was during the whole session. He definitely blames himself. He shouldn’t have touched his shoulder but somehow he couldn't resist. But why did that small touch change Louis' behavior so much?

 

Once Louis finally gets into the glass elevator, he sighs in relief. Throughout the whole session he couldn’t stop checking Harry out. He would definitely remember his face now in his dreams but that would make things so awkward that he would have to look for another therapist.  What is happening to him? His phone’s buzz interrupts his thoughts as he gets a text from Niall.

 

\---

 

Louis spends more time with getting ready than he normally would, hoping he might get lucky tonight. He makes sure his hair is perfect, he spends at least half an hour to find the perfect outfit and he is already 20 minutes late. Luckily Niall knows him well enough by now not to leave his house before Louis texts him that he’s ready.

 

When they finally arrive to the club, they start drinking shots really fast and in just an hour they are both fairly drunk. At one point Louis somehow loses Niall on the dance floor, but leaves him a text that he went into a bar for some more drinks. He finds an empty seat and sits down, reading the drink list. That’s when he catches someone else’s attention.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, yaaay!

“I’d like to get a double vodka shot” Louis tells the bartender when she finally asks her.

 

“Having a wild night, are you?” The guy standing next to Louis asks touching his thigh with a flirtatious smirk. Louis looks up at him and his drunk mind is running in circles. Is the other man flirting with him or is he just overanalyzing the situation? He silently examines the man for a brief second. Brown hair, strong jawline and cheekbones, broad shoulders and he is a lot taller than Louis. Even though it’s dark, he can see how toned his body is due to his really tight shirt. He has to admit himself that the other man is really attractive. Not just in a bro-way, but in a sexual way. Wait, what? He’s way too confused now.

 

“Hey, are you ok mate?” The guy asks with a frown, now putting his hand on Louis’ waist. He has a strong grip. Louis loves it. But he tries not to think about it anymore and answers quickly.

 

“Sorry I’m just kinda drunk already and I was deep in my thoughts” he says with a shy smile. “I’m Louis by the way.”

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Daniel. So why is such a handsome man alone at a bar on a Friday night?” Wait, did he really call Louis handsome? Is he _really_ flirting with him? Louis’ brain is too fuggy from alcohol and he’s scared his nerves show.

 

“Well actually I’m not alone, I came here with my best mate. But then I guess we have kinda lost each other?”

 

“Hmm so you came here with your best mate. Are you single then?” His smirk is back again.

 

“Yes?” Louis doesn’t want it to sound like a question but it does.

 

“Then how about leaving this boring place and having some more fun?” Daniel whispers to Louis’ ear.

 

A brief moment of panic hits Louis.

 

“Ohm. I’m sorry but I’m straight…” He says quietly, confusion written all over his face. Daniel loughs and moves his hand to Louis’ face.

 

“Ok, I get it, you like playing hard to get. But I saw how you were checking me out. A straight dude wouldn’t have done that.” He winks. The room is spinning around Louis. He needs fresh air. He quickly apologizes and literally rushes out of the pub.

 

\---

 

Luckily he got home fast. He couldn’t stop thinking all the way home. He can’t be gay, then he would have never gotten an erection from a woman, right? Right??? Still being really drunk, he collapses on his couch in his living room and turns on his TV hoping he could distract himself.

 

_But then he sees those green eyes and those lovely dimples again. He can hear the man’s deep voice whispering to his ear while he is slowly peeling off Louis’ clothes. Green eyes meet blue but this time they are a much darker shade of green, burning from lust. Their lips meet and Louis doesn’t want the kiss to ever end. As the kiss deepens it only feels even more right. Their hands are all over each other’s body and Louis just cannot get enough. He can feel the other man’s erection against his own and he wants to feel him so bad. The other man pulls back from the kiss, his eyes full of lust as he gets on his knees in front of Louis and slowly takes him in his mouth._

_“Fuck, you are so amazing Harry” Louis says in his pleasure._

_\---_

By Tuesday morning Louis has made a decision. Since last Friday he couldn’t get any sleep. It worried him that now he is full aware that all his dreams are about Harry, and how is he supposed to act professional with Harry if all he can thinks of is how good Harry looked on his knees with his cock in his mouth?

 

He finally arrives on the fourth floor. He was thinking about his decision once again, but in about a minute Harry walks in to the waiting area. As Harry sees him, he already knows something is not ok. Louis looks so tired and lost that he just wants to hug him and put a kiss on his forehead. What? He’s his therapist, he shouldn’t think of Louis this way! He slightly shakes his head and collects his thoughts.

 

“Good morning Louis, you look tired today.” Harry says with a bright smile. “Damn those dimples!” is all Louis can think.

 

“Yes, I haven’t really slept the last couple of nights.”

 

“Oh, please come in, we can talk about it as soon as we start the session.” Harry answers with a worried expression. Louis knew that he has to tell Harry now.

 

“Look, we need to talk. I don’t think I can continue the therapy anymore.” Louis quietly says, his voice lower than he thought it would come out. His gaze is on the floor, he cannot meet Harry’s eyes, they are too beautiful and Louis would get too lost in them.

 

Harry’s jaw drops. He didn’t expect this. What did he do wrong? And _why_ does he feel a pang in his chest? Because he won’t see Louis anymore? His incredibly blue eyes, his amazing cheekbones and his lovely tiny figure? No, he’s his patient, he cannot think of him this way! He is probably only worried about his own reputation as a therapist. Yes, that must be it. He finally speaks up after a long silence.

 

“I totally understand and respect your decision. I don’t mean to sound rude, but may I ask why?” he answers, trying to hide the sadness behind his words. The tension is way too high in the room. He can see how Louis elaborates on his answer. After a brief second of silence, he blurts out, speaking fast, letting all his frustration out.

 

“Fine. You are too attractive, ok? It makes me confused. I am definitely _not_ gay yet I started checking out men and then here you are with those stupid curls and dimples and big green eyes and you just don’t let me focus.” as he finishes his sentence he’s shocked. Why did he tell Harry all of this? Thank God he didn’t blurt out his nasty dreams as well, that would have made the situation even worse than it already is. He looks at Harry and sees pure surprise on his face. The he finally realizes what he has just said. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to call you stupid or anything like that, if someone is stupid that's definitely me, I’m terribly sorry.” He says burying his face in his hands in his embarrassment. Harry steps closer in response and puts his hand on Louis’ shoulder. The touch burns again but neither of them tries to break it as Harry speaks up.

 

“Lou, look at me” he says in an understanding tone. Louis immediately feels less tense as Harry uses his nickname. He looks up at Harry. Green eyes meet blue and they just stare at each other for a second, being lost in each other’s eyes. Harry forces himself to continue. “Just because you started checking out man as well it doesn’t mean you are gay. But even if you were, what would that change? In the end of the day the only thing that really matters is to go home to the person you love. I know how hard it is to discover your sexuality, I’ve been through that. And even though I hate to label myself anything I can say that I don’t care about what is between someone’s legs as long as they are a good person. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, even if the other person is the same gender as you are. “ Louis breaks the eye contact, he couldn’t stand it anymore, being so close to Harry, hearing his wise and calming advice. Harry sighs and continues. “But I totally understand that under these circumstances you wouldn’t like to work with me. It is crucial for a patient to feel like they can talk about anything with their therapist. However I would really like to help you and find you a colleague of mine that could help you.” He offers, still having a serious face.

 

Louis looks at him again with a shy smile and thanks him. Harry thinks for a minute who he should recommend but then decides for one of his more experienced colleagues. They say goodbye, shake hands as the first time they have met and Louis thanks Harry. Green eyes meet blue as they both silently try to convince themselves that this is the only wise choice. Then Louis leaves.

 

\---

 

Louis hasn’t seen Harry in 3 days but he still dreams about him every night. He has a weird feeling about not meeting Harry anymore. But it makes no sense, they have only met three times before. Harry probably doesn’t even care anymore, he has many other patients to focus on. Louis is entering the building of his new therapist to have his first session with her. He is nervous. He finally told his thoughts and feelings to someone, and it was really hard, and now he is supposed to do it again?

 

His new therapist is a woman in her 40’s, she’s for sure very highly educated and well experienced but somehow it is just not as easy with her as it was with Harry. She pushes Louis too hard and at one point he just really wants to leave the room before saying something rude. When the session is finally over, the women asks Louis when they should meet up next but Louis tells her he’s not sure yet and he will call. He is literally running out of the building.

 

\---

 

It’s been a week since Harry had his last session with Louis and he still cannot get him out of his mind. He remembers his own struggles with exploring his sexuality and Louis seems to have an even harder time than he had. He just really wants to talk to Louis, to make sure he’s doing well. But why does he care so much? He has learned it at the university for years how to be professional and not to get too involved in his patients’ lives, and until now it has always worked out. He decides to text him, asking him about his experience with his colleague.

 

**Hi Louis, I was just wondering how did the session go with your new therapist? Is she a good match? :) Harry**

 

He reads it through way too many times before he hits send. In about 10 minutes, his phone buzzes.

 

**Hi Harry, tbh my fist session was quite a bad experience with her. I think i will look for someone else cuz u put my expectations quite high :) Lou**

 

He put his expectations quite high? He giggles at this, it makes him feel warmth that Louis found his sessions this good. Harry has a wild thought.

 

**If you need someone to talk to just let me know. Not as a therapist, but as a friend :) Harry**

 

As he hits send, he realizes what he has written. He freaks out. Louis is famous, really popular and probably has loads of friends. Why would he need Harry? He probably only texted him back not to be rude. He facepalms himself. “Well done Harry, you have just embarrassed yourself in front of Louis Tomlinson.” He thinks, but his phone buzzes.

 

**I would really enjoy that. How about friday evening? Lou**

 

Harry’s eyes widen at the text. He quickly texts back.

 

**Sounds good to me :) Harry**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> I'm soooo sorry for the delay, I'm in the middle of my university exam period and I have to study way too much :( but this weekend I had the time to write so the following 2 days I will post 2 more chapters! :3  
> Huge thanks to my lovely best friend who helped me with a lot of amazing ideas to this fic, you are amazing <3  
> I hope you will all enjoy this chapter :3

It is an understatement to say Louis is nervous about meeting Harry on Friday. He could only gaze at his phone for a couple of minutes once he had received Harry’s first text. After having such a terrible experience with the other therapist he can appreciate Harry’s sessions even more. Not to mention he secretly misses those beautiful green eyes, not even truly admitting it to himself.

 

But why did Harry even text him? Does this have to do something with Louis’ confession about finding him attractive? Harry did in fact say that he doesn’t care about what’s between someone’s legs. What if… What if he wants something from Louis?? “No, I’m just overanalyzing this whole situation” Louis told himself. “After all Harry literally wrote we are meeting as _friends._ In a _bro way_. Like _every other guy does with his friends._ ” He is trying to convince himself that he is _definitely not_ attracted to Harry, he can just simply see how handsome the other man is. That’s normal, right? He can just appreciate his beautiful green eyes, his dimples on his cheeks, his effortlessly perfect curls, his amazing and fit figure and his strong arms that could hold him in a strong grip. Louis gets confused for a second. “His strong arms could hold any women in a strong grip. That’s what I was thinking about. Definitely.” But thinking of seeing Harry with women gives him a weird feeling somehow.

 

 ---

 

It’s Wednesday and Louis cannot control his excitement anymore. He feels like he cannot resist, he _must_ text Harry. They didn’t agree on when and where to meet, right? But deciding on _where_ seems to be too hard for Louis to figure out. After all, he doesn’t really know Harry. Is he the type that likes pubs? Or rather cafés? Maybe they should go out for dinner? Or maybe that would be too much? And of course no matter what, Louis has to find a place where they can go without being noticed. Louis had to learn it the hard way that if he gets spotted with someone there are rumors about him dating the other person immediately. He figured the best thing he can do is asking Harry.

**Hi Harry, so I was just thinking where should we go on friday? Lou x**

He hit sent, then went back to read the message again. Did he… Did he really write a _kiss_ in the end of his message??? “Oh my God now he will totally think I’m attracted to him in a way I’m not” Louis sighs. Much to his surprise, his phone buzzed immediately.

 

**Hi Lou, I really don’t mind but maybe a pub dinner or something? Then we could talk and have some beer as well ;) Harry x**

“A WINKY FACE _AND_ A KISS??? IS HARRY TRYING TO FLIRT? Bloody hell, he totally misunderstood me.” Louis tells himself while a huge grin sits on his face. He texts Harry back and they keep on texting for the rest of the day. Louis feels much less tense by every text. By the time they send out their last couple of texts it’s past midnight and they are both laying in their own beds.

 

**Good night Hazza, I cant wait for friday xxx**

**Nighty night Lou, have the sweetest dreams xxx**

“I probably will, if I will dream about you again” Louis whispers to his phone screen being half asleep.

 

\---

 

_Strong hands lift him up from the floor, he puts his legs around his partner’s waist to make sure he won’t fall, yet he feels safe in those arms. Their kiss is desperate, all tongue and teeth, while quiet moans escape both of their mouths. He is pressed up against a wall now, his nails are digging deep in his partner’s back. “You feel so good Lou, so tight, taking me so well” says a deep voice slowly, full of lust as green eyes meet blue. Every thrust gets rougher and deeper as they are getting closer to their release._

Louis wakes up all sweaty, his hard cock arching to get touched. He wraps his hand around it and lets the memories of his dream fill his mind. Then he suddenly realizes that this time his dream was literally about having sex with no other than Harry.

 

\---

 

By Wednesday afternoon he had received 4 texts from Harry that he didn’t even dare to open. His dream of last night completely freaks him out, especially how much he _liked_ the dream. He is too confused, completely lost in his thoughts when his manager approaches him.

 

“So how is the therapy going?” She asks.

 

“I… well. Fine I guess.” He is not ready to confess her he had quitted, not now, when she is already so angry at him.

 

“So does that mean we can finally get you a nice girlfriend? We really need the best promo for your upcoming album so if you could _finally_ start dating another celebrity it would be just perfect.” she says still sounding upset. But this is the moment it hits Louis. He can prove himself he’s _totally straight_ if he starts dating a woman, right? But he doesn’t want more set ups and he knows that his manager won’t let him date a non-famous  person. Wait, why did he even say _person_ in his head instead of _woman_? Anyways he has to make a quick decision. Maybe even a hook up would do to distract him from his nasty dreams with Harry. Yes, that’s the perfect plan. At least he thinks so.

 

“Ohm. I actually really liked the woman you set me up with last time” it isn’t a complete lie, they had a good time and she was actually pretty.

 

“Oh, Eleanor? Give me a sec, I will call her manager and get something arranged for the two of you. Is Friday fine for you?” Louis bites his lip. He knows he has to cancel his _meeting_ with Harry anyways, yet it somehow feels so wrong. He just silently nods. He grabs his phone to text Harry and as he sees his texts he just feels even worse.

 

**Good morning Lou, I hope you will have a wonderful day :) xxx**

**So I was just thinking, we didn’t really agree on when to meet, would 7 fit you? x**

**And also about the pub, I know a place near my office which is always really quiet so you wouldn’t have to worry about paparazzi xxx**

**Sorry I really didn’t mean to disturb you, have a nice day Lou xxx**

“Beautiful inside and out” and that is the moment when deep down Louis knows he will regret this but he must stop even talking to Harry to make sure his own madness stops.

 

**I’m sorry Harry but I have to cancel Friday.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next chapter as I promised :3 you will really hate me for this chapter but I just have to do this, you will understand why.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING! this chapter contains Elounor, but dont worry, it is only in this chapter!
> 
> Enjoy :3

**I’m sorry Harry but I have to cancel Friday.**

Just this one sentence. With a full stop. No kisses, no explanation, nothing. “I shouldn’t have expected so much from this” Harry thinks. As much as he hates to admit, he feels rejected. But Louis was definitely flirting with him yesterday, wasn’t he? Or was it only Harry feeling this way? They have spent the whole day texting each other and Louis was the one texting him first, he started the whole kiss sending thing in the end of the messages and Harry honestly felt like they have been flirting throughout the whole conversation. He scrolls back to his messages from yesterday, to read some of them again. He stopped at one of Louis’ messages.

 

**Well I guess I will be about 20 minutes late from my best friend cuz im too busy texting you. oops**

**Hahaha, you are the worst Lou :P**

**I know, but you like bad boys, don’t you? ;) x**

Yes, Louis was definitely flirting with him. Harry scrolls back to his newest message and decides to text him back, even though he is confused and deep inside even hurt.

 

**It’s fine Lou, maybe we could find another day? :)**

An answer comes immediately, and now Harry knows Louis completely rejected him.

 

**Maybe, I’m not sure.**

**\---**

Louis’ dreams are getting out of hand even more since he stopped talking to Harry. Yet he still hopes every time his phone buzzes that it is Harry texting him. The last message he has sent Harry still gives him a bitter feeling but Louis had to do this. He has to focus on his career and his upcoming album and since he met Harry he cannot sleep properly and cannot get him out of his head. He ends up checking his phone, it’s his manager texting him that he should take his date somewhere public to make sure someone will spot them together and they can get some headlines. Louis already hates the idea but he does not protest. He needs some distraction from Harry.

 

\---

 

18:00. Louis has already picked up Eleanor and now she is totally clinging into his arm as they walk towards a huge park. Louis thought it would be the perfect place to get spotted together and it is in their way as they are walking to the restaurant where they have a reservation. Eleanor is chatting easily and even though Louis tries to pay attention to her, he mainly has no idea what she’s talking about. He puts his hand around her waist as he guides her to a bench under a huge tree with long hanging branches. The sun is still shining and it’s still just as hot as during the day. Eleanor easily puts her legs in Louis’ lap. She leans closer and something in Louis’ head tells him she probably expects him to kiss her. And that’s exactly what he does. Eleanor deepens the kiss, but Louis feels… unaffected? He literally doesn’t feel a thing. Not even lust, even though the kiss is not bad actually. He just feels even more confused now, he cannot quiet his thoughts. Eleanor is literally on his lap now as they pull apart. And that’s when Louis hears a deep voice he knows he had heard before.

 

As he looks in the direction of the sound, his jaw drops. His brain is filled with the image of topless Harry casually walking a dog. Sweat glistening all over his body in the sunlight, his torso and arms filled with various types of tattoos. All of his muscles are on full display as he holds the dog’s leash tight to stop it from running too far. The pair of shorts he’s wearing barely covers half of his thighs, showing off his long legs. He’s holding a water bottle and… he’s opening it and lifting it to his mouth. Louis’ eyes widen as he sees Harry’s action and he is already close enough for Louis to see his Adam’s apple move as he’s swallowing. Louis just cannot get his eyes off him and he can feel his cock twitch in interest. But then Harry is getting even closer and Louis feels even more terrible about his last text. How could anyone not want to see Harry anymore? He’s truly a pleasure to eyes.

 

\---

 

As Harry finishes drinking from his water bottle, he sees a couple sitting on his favorite bench in the park. He really doesn’t wanna stare but the guy somehow looks so familiar to him. “I will wait until I get closer to them. Saying hi wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?” but as he walks closer realization hits him. He sees those sharp cheekbones, those incredibly blue eyes, that messed up hair… “Wait, isn’t that Louis? Who cancelled our date tonight… Wait, what? Who was talking about a _date?_ It would have been just a friendly meeting. Yes, definitely. There’s nothing wrong with him choosing _a girl_ to _publicly sit in his lap_ instead of going to a _quiet place_ with _me_.” he really tries to convince himself but in reality he is upset and jealous even.

 

As he walks by them, green eyes meet blue, but they both quickly look at the ground instead. They say quiet “hi”-s to each other and Louis can’t help but look at Harry again as he walks away. Hints of regret hit Louis, but Eleonor still in his lap tries to kiss him again. He obeys her even though his thoughts are somewhere else.

 

\---

 

After dinner Louis took Eleanor home. She invited him inside and now they are in her bedroom kissing roughly. Louis is definitely not having a good time. While Eleanor is already stripping down, his cock is only half hard and it makes him frustrated. As she gets on her knees before him he gets flashbacks of his dreams. They give him the needed blood in this penis. He cannot keep his eyes open, all he wants to see are those green eyes. He closes his eyes and just lets the memories of his dreams combine with the feeling around his cock. He finally starts to somewhat enjoy it. His phone starts to ring on the night stand but it stops really soon so he just ignores it.

 

\---

 

Eleanor is asleep on his shoulder and it is all numb by now. He feels terrible, his whole night was about remembering those nasty dreams and trying to ignore the fact it’s not Harry he is actually having sex with. Seeing his half naked, sweaty body just a couple of hours ago did not help either. He feels terrible, the point of hooking up with a woman was to prove himself he is totally straight but now he is just laying sleepless in her bed and he slowly admits to himself that he messed up quite bad. Harry’s wise words echo in his head. _“Even if you were gay, what would that change? In the end of the day the only thing that really matters is to go home to the person you love.”_ And Louis has been struggling his entire life to find a person he could truly fall in love with. Maybe because he was only thinking in terms of women? He quickly reaches for his phone and as he pushes the button on it he knows he must leave immediately. It was Harry who called him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the new chapter is here! :3 I hope you will enjoy it :3

Once Harry gets home from his dog walk, he feels like he wants to go out and get drunk. He cannot get the picture out of his head of seeing Louis with a girl in his lap. He wouldn’t admit but he is feeling beyond jealous. He quickly calls his best friend and agrees on meeting him in an hour at a local pub his friend often goes to. He puts on a pair of black skinny jeans with a flower patterned shirt which he thinks is fair enough for an improvised night out. He wouldn’t run into anyone he has to impress anyways, right?

 

As he walks into the pub, he can almost immediately see his friend casually sipping his beer while typing on his phone.

 

“Hi Daniel, looking good as always” he greets the other lad.

 

“Harry! How are you mate? Weren’t you supposed to have a date tonight? Was it this bad?” Daniel asks with a teasing smile. But just a look on Harry’s face is enough to tell something _did_ go wrong.

 

“Please don’t even ask. The guy cancelled it then I ran into him accidentally and he was with a woman” Harry says lowly. Daniel doesn’t really know whether he should force Harry to talk more about it or to distract him so he decides for the latter option.

 

“Does that mean you are drinking shots with me?” he asks with a grin. Harry agrees with a nod.

 

About 5 shots later Harry already feels drunk. He is definitely not a heavy drinker and drinking with Daniel was always everything but light. He is definitely having a great time not thinking about Louis, when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket as he receives a text. He quickly opens his phone hoping it would be Louis but in reality it is only his mobile service provider. He feels disappointed and the images of Louis with that woman find their way back to his head. He opens Louis’ last message again and he just feels upset. “Why am I so disappointed in him when I barely even know him?” He has a quick drunk idea and he presses the “call” button on his screen. After only one ring he immediately regrets it and hangs up. Louis is probably having fun with that woman, he definitely wouldn’t even care about Harry. He goes back to the bar and orders more shots instead.

 

\---

 

As Louis drives home from Eleanor’s house he feels miserable. He is definitely not the kind of guy that would just sneak out of someone’s house in the middle of the night after they have had sex. His thoughts wonder back to Harry. Why did he call him? It must have been something important but Louis simply doesn’t have the courage to call him back. Is Harry hurt by seeing Louis with a woman in his lap? They barely even know each other. And why would Harry even be interested in Louis? He simply cannot get the curly haired man out of his head. He decides to text Niall whether he’s out drinking. It’s Friday night after all and it’s only around 1 AM. Niall quickly texts him back that he’s in the same pub where they went last time and Louis should definitely join him. By the way his texts were written Louis could already tell he was drunk.

 

As Louis makes his way inside the pub he’s having a hard time finding his friend. Someone suddenly bumps into him and much to his surprise it’s Niall.

 

“Loueeeeh, you are here! What’s wrong mate? Have you even drank something? Come, quickly, you need some shots!” Louis can’t help just lough at his friend’s welcome.

 

They make their way to the bar, but the pub is rather full by now. Niall is telling Louis about his night and hearing him lough so much makes Louis lough along. As they get to the bar Louis is in a much better mood and he can finally forget about all his messy thoughts about Harry. They order 3 shots each and Louis quickly finishes all 3 of his much to Niall’s surprise. He wants to keep his thoughts as far away from Harry as possible and apparently drinking with Niall works. He orders a couple of more drinks and they are turning around to go to Niall’s table when green eyes meet blue.

 

They just stare at each other for a couple of seconds. Louis can hear Niall talking to him but he cannot really care. Harry is definitely drunk and Louis can see the hurt in his eyes. A random guy is approaching Harry. Brown hair, strong jawline and cheekbones, broad shoulders and he is a lot taller than Louis. Even though it’s dark, Louis can see how toned his body is due to his really tight shirt. Somehow Louis feels like he has already met this guy but he has no idea where. He puts a hand around Harry’s waist. Louis’ eyes widen, he cannot get his gaze off the guy’s hand around Harry’s waist. Harry also moves his eyes away from Louis and leans closer to the other guy as he slowly starts talking to him.

 

“Daniel, I’m not feeling well, can we please go home?” Daniel just nods and guides Harry outside. Still having a strong grip around Harry’s waist. Louis catches Harry’s eye as he looks back at him for a brief second but he still cannot move.

 

“What the hell is wrong mate?” Niall asks him. Louis tries to collect himself, now removing his eyes from Harry and trying to focus on Niall. Wasn’t this Daniel guy the one hitting on him last time he came here? Which means he is obviously gay. Which means he and Harry are definitely not just having a friendly night out here. Which means Harry actually meant their meeting only in a friendly way. Which means Louis has overanalyzed the situation. Which means no matter how attracted he is to Harry, he is probably in a happy relationship, just being friendly to Louis. Louis feels like a complete fool. He starts drinking in a crazy pace and much to his relief he cannot remember more of his night.

 

\---

 

The next afternoon he wakes up with a terrible hangover. He hasn’t had a dream about Harry in his sleep. He blames the alcohol.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! :3  
> I'm so sorry for the delay, I'm having 2 more exams next week and they are killing me already :( But the new chapter is finally here! :3  
> Lots of love and kisses to my best friend for all the help and support once again <3  
> And thank you for all the clicks, comments and kudos, I'm so happy that some people actually enjoy my little fic :3  
> So I hope you will all have fun reading the new chapter! X

Harry wakes up to the sun peeking through the curtain. His head hurts like crazy, he cannot remember much from last night. He slowly opens his eyes and he suddenly realizes he isn’t in his own bed and he can hear someone quietly snoring next to him. He lets his eyes wonder around the room but in a couple of seconds he recognizes Daniel’s bedroom. He sees a bottle of water on the night stand and a bucket next to it. “Of course, Daniel is used to endless drinking but he always cares for his mates whenever we cannot keep up with his pace” Harry smiles to his best friend’s kindness.

 

He quietly drinks some of the water not to wake Daniel up then decides the best thing to do is sleep a little more. When he wakes up hours later Daniel is already awake, typing something on his phone.

 

“Good morning Harry, how are you feeling?” Daniel asks as Harry tries to sit up.

 

“Terrible, I’m having a really bad headache. What happened last night?”

 

“Oh so you don’t even remember?” Daniel asks laughing at his friend. “Well we went to a pub and I asked you about your date. But you didn’t want to talk about it so we ended up doing shots.” He said with a wide smile. Harry starts to collect some flashbacks of the night. He does remember a couple of drinks. But he kinda has a memory of seeing Louis in the pub??? No, that can’t be possible.

 

“Why did we come home?” Harry blurts out. He definitely remembers seeing Louis there. Who could forget those beautiful blue eyes?

 

“Well you ran into some dude and you just stared at each other for a while. I asked you if you are ok and you said you wanted to go home because you didn’t feel well. I literally had to carry you to a taxi so I thought it would not be a good idea to leave you alone for the night so instead of taking you home I took you here. You agreed to it though. You were talking some weird shit during the taxi ride, I was laughing my ass off.” Daniel says laughing at the memories. Harry’s eyes widen. So he DID run into Louis. He had so many questions to ask Daniel.

 

“What did that guy look like?” He asks, trying to look casual and like he doesn’t care at all.

 

“Tiny, brown messy hair, crazy blue eyes. He is really hot, I can tell you. I saw him a week ago as well. He was checking me out then when I hit on him he kinda freaked out. He said he was straight. Oh the days of denial!” Daniel says with a smirk. “Of course it was Louis” Harry thinks. “But why was he in the pub when he had a date _with a women_ a couple of hours ago? Did it go wrong? Was it not a date? Well it doesn’t really matter, does it? He cancelled his _date_ with me after all – his meeting I mean. But wait, has Daniel just said _he hit on Louis_ last Friday???”

 

“Wait, what do you mean you hit on him?” Harry says, jealousy obvious in his voice.

 

“Oh so you know him. Is he the guy you were supposed to spend the night with?” Daniel winks.

 

“He is” Harry starts slowly. “He used to be my patient” Daniel’s expression changes to surprised and confused. “but then he told me he finds me attractive and he feels like it distracts him from the actual therapy. Or something like that. I definitely didn’t want to hit on him, you know? It wouldn’t even have been a date, rather just a friendly meeting because I know what he’s going through and I wanted to help him. But then he started flirting with me as we were texting. And let’s be honest, he’s hot as fuck. But apparently I misunderstood his intentions. He was probably just messing around with me. Or he’s just generally a flirty kind of person, I don’t even know. I don’t know him.” Harry says feeling sadder with every sentence.

 

“Come on mate, give him one last chance. You know me since I was 16, right? You saw my love life. First I was having a proper girlfriend but then it felt wrong and I broke up with her. Then I met Zach and fell for him and it freaked me out. Do you remember what did I do?”

 

“You had crazy amount of hook ups with women. You totally denied your feelings for him.”

 

“Exactly. And I still regret it. But I had to go through that to realize how wrong it all was. And that it’s ok to be gay but breaking women’s heart just because I cannot accept myself is definitely not fair.” Daniel says sounding unusually serious. Of course Harry remembers the whole story. Daniel fell for a guy the first year of college but by the time he could accept himself it was too late as Zach was already in a happy relationship. Once Daniel could get over him, he started dating a guy but he ended up with a broken heart and since that he went back to one night stands, but with men only.

 

“But what should I do then? I’m gonna be honest, it did _hurt_ me to see Louis with a woman” Harry says lowly.

 

“Then guide him through the phrase of denial. Don’t give up on him yet, Harry. I saw the way he looked at you. And trust me, he hated that I held your waist as we were getting out of the pub” Daniel replies with another wink, now standing up and heading to the kitchen. Harry sighs. He really doesn’t know what to do anymore. As he closes his eyes to think about how to reach out to Louis again, his mind fills up with images of the other man. His tiny figure, always messy hair, admirable cheekbones, and beautiful blue eyes. Harry knows how easily he could get lost in those eyes.

 

\---

 

Louis tries to distract himself for the rest of his day the best he can. But in the evening when he enters the shower all he can think about is Harry. He regrets everything about yesterday so much. Cancelling meeting Harry, then meeting Eleanor instead, especially meeting her in public. The whole hook up idea was miserable from the very beginning and how disgusting it is that he could only enjoy sex with her if he was thinking of Harry! His former therapist! Who is a _man_! He is a fine man nevertheless. He closes his eyes from frustration. He stops blaming himself for a second as images of Harry wearing only those tiny shorts flash in front of his eyes. Louis thinks of all his muscles and how great those tattoos looked on him. He definitely did not imagine Harry being this fit. As his penis starts to harden of the thought his eyes are suddenly wide open. He realizes he actually wants to see _more_ of Harry. He wants to know what were those shorts hiding. But he already messed up his chance with Harry, didn’t he? And based on what he saw last night he was with another man. Then why would have Harry called him last night? Suddenly he realizes something. They cannot be dating anyways because that random guy in the pub was hitting on Louis just a week ago! He was probably the local fuckboy or something. Harry was hurt, Louis could see it in his eyes. They probably just had a one night stand, right? But Harry doesn’t seem to be that kind of guy. Louis is just getting even more and more confused.

 

He gets out of the shower and decides to go to bed early. Tomorrow he is meeting his friend, singer-songwriter Liam Payne to work on a song together. Liam has recently come out as bisexual to the public, showing off his boyfriend. The reactions were surprisingly positive and supportive. Louis could probably talk to him about how he’s feeling, Liam would definitely not judge him. Hopefully.

 

As Louis turns down the lights in his bedroom, all he can think of is the hurt in those lovely green eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,   
> I'm honestly sorry for being so bad at updating during the summer but I could finally spend a couple of weeks in my home country after spending the entire year abroad so I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. But now I'm back to my second home, ready to update much more often :)   
> All comments and kudos are highly appreciated!  
> Enjoy :3

Louis wakes up in the middle of the night. He just tosses and turns, his thoughts keep going back to Harry. It all feels like a dream but he’s rather just half asleep. He wants to see the other man again, see those green eyes and hear as he talks slowly with his deep voice. Louis wants to get to know him. Besides their texts and the small talk before and after the sessions, they haven’t really had a conversation. It was always the therapy session where Louis talked about his life and Harry just asked questions. But Louis wants to talk to him again, wants to get to know him, wants to meet him. He cannot deny anymore how attracted he is to Harry. His thoughts wonder back to Harry’s toned body. Louis want to touch it, hell, he want to lick over it and explore what else Harry has hidden. He wants his dreams become real, he wants to kiss Harry, wants them to touch each other, wants to see Harry sucking him off. Then all of a sudden he gets scared. He’s fantasizing about a man! He has spent his entire career denying gay rumors, he has had sex with women, he shouldn’t be thinking so much of a man! How does gay sex even work? He quickly shoos those thoughts away. Harry probably hates him anyways.

 

\---

 

When Louis arrives to the studio, Liam is already waiting for him. They greet each other with warm hugs, having conversation flowing easily. They try to come up with some song ideas but the minute their managers leave them alone they just get back to catching up with each other’s lives. After a while Louis decides he will lead to the topic he is so eager to discuss with Liam.

 

“So how are your things going with your boyfriend? I’ve recently seen him feature on Converse’s campaign.”

 

“Yes well Zayn is quite busy nowadays so I’m also trying to make myself busy” Liam loughs. “But now that we came out I’m really considering to propose him.” He says in a much more serious tone. Louis is beyond surprised. Well after all this explains why Liam would risk his reputation by coming out.

 

“Damn Payno, I didn’t know you two were this serious.”

 

“Well I think you just know when you find the right one. I mean I’ve never felt like this in any of my former relationships. But well I’ve never actually dated a man before Zayn so maybe that explains it.” Liam says laughing again. Louis knows this is the perfect time to ask Liam more about this topic. He is just not sure how.

 

“But… How did it all start? I mean I know you, I know you thought you were straight.”

 

“I’m not quite sure how it all started. Obviously it was impossible for me not to admire his beauty from the first minute we’ve met but back then I thought it was just because well he _is_ in fact a beautiful man. But then the more I got to know him the harder it was to explain it to myself why he had such a huge effect on me whenever we’ve met. Then I guess I slowly started to accept that yes, he is a man but I definitely like him and find him attractive so I got my shit together and asked him out on a date. From that moment it was easy.” Louis doesn’t answer for a while, he’s just processing what Liam said. Liam recognizes how deep Louis is in his thoughts and starts to suspect that Louis didn’t only ask this question out of curiosity. He puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

 

“If you have any other questions in relation to this topic, I hope you know you can always ask me. I won't judge you. And you know it’s so releasing that I can finally openly talk about these things without feeling ashamed, but it wasn’t an easy journey to get to this point.” He offers with a warm smile.

 

“Yes yes I can imagine.” Louis mumbles still deep in thoughts. He makes a sudden decision grabs his phone and types a text. He rereads it a couple of times and finds it pretty lame but sends it anyways. In the worst case he won’t receive a reply.

 

\---

 

The minute Harry finishes the shower he took after his daily walk with his dog, his phone buzzes. He puts a towel around his waist to check the text. Much to his surprise he sees the text is from Louis. He opens it immediately.

**Hi Harry. Im not quite sure what could i write but i think an apology would be the best choice. Im really sorry for being so rude to u and about the whole friday thing, i just cant get your sad eyes out of my head. Would you agree into another meeting, so i could make it up to u? Lou x**

 

Harry can’t help but feel warmth from the text. But instead of texting Louis – he can wait, or more likely he _should_ wait for his answer – he quickly texts Daniel.

**You were right about Louis. He asked me for a second change :)) H.**

 

He opens his messages with Louis again, and thinks of a proper reply. He decides for just sending “ **sure, when?** ”. He simply can’t stop smiling. Louis has made the first big step towards accepting himself and Harry knows that it won’t be easy to help him through it but something tells Harry it will be worth it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> The new chapter is here! We can finally see some progress in Harry's and Louis' relationship :3 I hope you will enjoy it :3

Louis nervously enters the hidden little pub where he agreed to meet Harry. He stops right at the door and looks around but Harry is nowhere to be seen. Even though he’s 7 minutes early – finally for once he’s not late -, he feels even more nervous. What if Harry won’t show up? Will they never meet again? That’s when someone opens the door, almost hitting Louis.

 

“Oops” he hears the familiar voice. He can’t hold back a shy smile as he replies.

 

“Hi” Harry returns the smile, letting his dimples show. Louis feels warmth spread all over his body. Damn, he missed this smile so much, even though he hasn’t seen it too often until now. Time to change this, he thinks.

 

They head to a table in the back of the pub, both ordering a beer first. Louis doesn’t really know what to do. He keeps his eyes on his beer and plays with the glass while he thinks. Should he bring up the topic of what happened on Friday? Or should he just ask Harry some basic conversation starter questions, like how his day went? He thinks he’s never felt this insecure before. But when he’s about to question whether it was a bad idea to meet Harry again, he breaks the silence.

 

“So… Why did you change your mind Louis? I mean about meeting me” Harry bit his lip. “I mean first cancelling it then asking me whether I still wanted to meet?” Louis finally looks up and green eyes meet blue. He can see that Harry is also beyond nervous, it is obvious in his entire behavior. But there’s something else in those mesmerizing green eyes. They almost look…hopeful? Louis just stares at Harry for a couple of long seconds. He doesn’t know the answer. Or more like he knows it, but he is just too afraid to say it out loud. That would make everything much more real. He can’t stand the eye contact anymore, his eyes are back on his beer, playing again with the glass. Suddenly Harry’s hand is on his as he speaks again.

 

“I’m sorry for asking you about it. I should have guessed that this is a really sensitive topic for you. You know it’s just… I’m also scared. I honestly don’t want either of us to get hurt, but seeing you on Friday… It hurt more than it should have.” he smiles sadly. Louis’ eyes shoot up. Those piercing blue eyes Harry could get lost in.

 

“I seriously couldn’t get your sad eyes out of my head” Louis says in a small voice. His eyes wander to his hand that Harry is still holding. The size difference is obvious, Harry’s huge warm hand can completely cover his muck smaller delicate hand. He feels so safe in those hands. He slowly moves his hand so their fingers are interlocked. Harry caresses his hand with his thumb. When Louis looks at his face again his eyes are all warm and soft. He understands what Louis is going through.

 

They sit in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes then they change the subject, trying to get to know each other better, still holding each other’s hand. This time Louis asks all sort of questions from Harry and just silently admires the other man and everything that comes out of his perfect mouth. Time flies with them, they don’t even notice that it's almost 1AM when Harry’s phone buzzes. He quickly apologies to Louis then checks the screen. It’s an incoming text from no other than Daniel.

 

**Harold, you promised me that you would text me once your date is over. Its 1am. I thought you werent the type of guy that would make our tiny little Louis bottom on the first date ;)**

Harry can’t help but laugh at his friend’s text. He sends a short reply.

 

**Excuse me Daniel, but he is not OUR tiny little Louis. Hopefully he will be mine tho ;)**

They have to let go of each other’s hand when they finally exit the pub. Harry insists to follow Louis home. Something about Louis’ angelic eyes and tiny figure makes him much more protective than he normally is. Luckily Louis doesn’t seem to mind it.

 

Once they reach Louis’ rather luxurious looking home, they turn to face each other. Green eyes meet blue and Louis shyly grabs Harry’s hand again which puts the biggest smile on Harry’s face. Louis can’t hold back a giggle and Harry can’t help it but wraps his arms around Louis to pull him into a tight hug. Louis melts from his touch. He hides his face at Harry’s neck and inhales his scent. He smells so sweet and intoxicating. Harry’s heart races and he doesn’t ever want to let go of Louis from his arms.

 

After what seems like eternity the hug breaks and they happily say their goodbyes to each other.

 

\---

 

Louis goes to bed with a huge smile on his face. He wants to fall asleep hearing his deep voice, he want to feel those arms around himself again and again, he wants to wake up surrounded by Harry’s scent. He has never thought of any woman in a way he thinks about Harry. But how can something he was always forbidden to even think about be this mesmerizing in reality?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm back!   
> Here is a chapter full of fluff and quite some progress! Let me know what you think about it in the comments! But what will happen afterwards? You won't have to wait long, the next chaoter is already ready and I'm so happy with how it's going! Please leave kudos and share your opinions with me :3  
> Enjoy! :3
> 
> UPDATE: Apparently for some reason I didn't succeed in uploading this chapter yesterday, as even though it showed to me that it was online, my friends told me they couldn't see it. In case you have already read the 11th chapter I'm sorry for reuploading and not uploading the next chapter but I can promise that it will come in maximum 2 days. Enjoy! :3

Louis dreams about Harry again. But the nature of his dream is completely different now. He dreams of cuddling Harry, laughing with him on nonsense things, pecking his lips and caressing his beautiful young face while Harry holds him again in those strong arms. He wakes up happier than ever, feeling full of energy and grabs his phone immediately to text Harry.

 

**Good morning Harold. I just wanted to thank u again for last night, i honestly enjoyed every second of it x :) would u like to have more evenings like that maybe? xxx**

Harry’s reply comes in a couple of seconds much to Louis’ delight.

 

**Sure Lou, gladly! xxx But are you only free in the evenings? I happened to buy too much ingredients for lunch – I’m making some lasagna ;) – so I thought you could come over and help me solve this serious issue? xxx**

Louis giggles. Apparently he doesn’t have to wait days to meet Harry again, only a couple of hours. Also the lasagna sounds pretty promising. He texts Harry back asking for his address, promising him he will help with the cooking even though he cannot cook. He heads for a quick shower already feeling excited.

 

\---

 

By the time he arrives to Harry’s door he’s beyond nervous. He second guesses all his choices. He looks down at his black Vans shoes as he’s ringing the doorbell. What is he even doing here?

 

But the minute the door flies open, green eyes meet blue and before he can even register what’s happening, Harry is wrapping him up in a hug with his strong arms. Louis hugs him back tightly, he can feel Harry burying his face in his neck and inhaling his scent. Louis enjoys this feeling, he enjoys being held in strong arms, feeling protected. It reminds him of being a child and feeling safe and loved in his mum’s arms when his father left them and suddenly his mum was the only one he could rely on. But that’s not how it should be, he is an adult man, he should be the one protecting others, right? He shakes his head, he shouldn’t ruin the moment. But he cannot help it, he gently pushes Harry away.

 

Harry doesn’t seem to mind it, he gives Louis a huge bright smile that is impossible not to return. He takes Louis’ hand as he murmurs a quiet “come in”. Louis does as he is told to, not letting go of Harrys hand to take off his shoes. He examines the apartment: just like Harry’s office, his apartment is also quite modern, really bright due to huge windows and has lots of plants and flowers all around. Suddenly he hears tiny feet run towards him as the dog he already saw once with Harry approaches him. Louis welcomes the dog with ear scratches, telling it what a good dog it is. Harry just smiles at them, really appreciating how lovely Louis is with his dog. In Harry’s opinion it really describes a person how they interact with animals. Louis distracts him from his thoughts.

 

“What is this beautiful doggo’s name? Is it a he or a she?” He asks with a huge grin.

 

“It’s a she, and her name is Dots. She’s a really smart girl, however I will have to lock her in my bedroom when we are starting to cook because she goes wild from any kind of food.” Harry says petting Dots as well.

 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’m really excited for lasagna so let’s just start cooking already.”

 

It takes both of them to get Dots in the bedroom and it takes several toys to stop her from barking. Harry then leads Louis to the kitchen, and much to Louis’ surprise it seems like Harry actually knows what he’s doing.

 

“So how often do you cook?” Louis asks while they are getting all the ingredients ready.

 

“Almost every day. I really enjoy it. Sometimes it can be a little challenging, but you can always enjoy the final result. I miss having someone to cook for though, that’s one of the reasons I miss living with friends.” Harry says handing Louis some vegetables.

 

“Well luckily today you can cook for me.” Louis says with a cheeky smile. “I’m terrible in the kitchen.” Harry just smiles at him fondly. “So what do I do with all these vegetables?”

 

“Could you please just chop them? I will get the meat ready.”

 

“Sure.” But apparently Louis manages to mess up even such an easy task. He cannot chop the vegetables to even pieces and the almost cuts himself multiple times. When his entire forearm is covered in tomato juice, he lets out a frustrated groan. All of a sudden he feels a warm body hug him from behind and hold both of his hands. Louis melts into the touch. Harry is obviously well experienced in this, he slowly guides Louis holding his hands to chop an onion the way you see Gordon Ramsay do it in cooking shows.

 

“This way you can make perfect thin slices and you don’t risk cutting yourself.” Harry whispers to his ear. And Louis is lost in the sensation, the difference in their height, having Harry’s much stronger arms around him, the way Harry’s hands guide his own so gently, how Harry whispers little instructions to him in his deep voice, lips touching his ear and just the way their bodies fit together so perfectly.

 

They finish chopping all the vegetables way too quickly, but to Louis’ delight Harry stays behind him as he wipes off both of their hands in a dishtowel. Once he’s finished with cleaning up both of them he places a small kiss on Louis’ temple. Much to his surprise Louis turns around and he almost gets worried that he might have crossed a line but green eyes meet blue and Louis presses his thin red lips to Harry’s much fuller ones.

 

The kiss is sweet and insecure, but Harry thinks it’s perfect. He lets Louis take full control as he just enjoys those little fingers cup his face while he’s trying to hug Louis’ tiny body even closer to himself. Harry feels like he’s in heaven. But the kiss only lasts a second longer until Louis suddenly breaks it, small hands pushing Harry’s chest away and as green eyes meet blue Harry can read the panic in Louis’ eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> As promised the new chapter is here :3   
> How do you like it so far? And what will happen next??  
> Enjoy! :3

Louis runs out of the kitchen, Harry following close behind. He starts putting on his Vans, while he's talking fast, voice full of emotions, eyes wide, slowly tearing up.

 

“I’m really sorry, I really shouldn’t have done that. It was a pure accident. I’m sorry Harold, thank you for inviting me over but I’m afraid the best I can do is leave.” But Harry won’t let him leave, he just cannot, not when they have made such a huge step forward. He wraps his arms around Louis’ body and starts caressing his hair not caring about how much Louis tries to push him away.

 

“Lou, please don’t leave. Please talk to me, tell me what’s going on inside of your pretty head. You know that I could help you more than anyone else, not only because I’m a professional psycho therapist, but also because I’ve been through this and I know how hard it is.” Harry says in a calming tone, even though he’s worried that he might lose the smaller man in his arms. He can feel it as Louis’ shoulders start to shake but it only takes a couple of seconds until he hugs him back. That moment Harry knows that even if Louis won’t open up to him yet, he won’t completely lose him. They stand like that for a couple of minutes until Louis’ breathing evens.

 

“Thank you Harry. But I still think I should go now. I have a lot to think about.” Louis says in a quiet voice. Harry steps back a little, lifting Louis head up with a gentle hand, however Louis avoids eye contact. With his hair messed up, eyes sad and frame so tiny Harry thinks he looks exactly like a kitten.

 

“If that’s what you think is the best for you, then I won’t stop you. But please talk to someone about what you are going through. It doesn’t have to be me, but you should know that you don’t have to go through this alone.” Louis just nods as an answer and puts on his other shoe as well. “And just one more thing. Please promise me that this is not the last time we see each other.” Harry says this time without even trying to hide the concern in his voice. Louis looks up at him and whispers a soft “promise”, then quickly turns around and leaves.

 

Harry heads back to the kitchen just to put everything back in the fridge. He doesn’t feel like making lasagna anymore even though it is his favorite. He joins Dots in his bedroom, cuddling tight in his bed. He remembers he forgot to text Daniel, and he could really use his best friend’s company anyways so he types out a short text.

 

**Yesterday went really well and we also met today. He kissed me then got scared of all that was happening. Do you want to come over?**

 

As usual Harry didn’t have to wait long for Daniel to arrive.

 

\---

 

When Louis arrives home he feels so confused. The fact that his manager tried to call him several times does not help either. He doesn’t want to talk to her, not at all when all he could think of is kissing Harry again even though he knows he shouldn't. Why did he even kiss him on the first place? His career would probably sink immediately if any of this got out and he just loves performing and his fans way too much. He needed Niall and his always happy spirit. But what would he react if Louis told him about the current situation? “Hi Niall, I just kissed a guy, I have nasty dreams of him for a while now so I think I might be gay, how are you?” No, Louis can’t tell him, not yet.  Sure he knows that the Irish lad would always support him but he’s still worried of his reaction. But Louis really needs some company and after thinking for a couple of minutes he realizes that he should definitely talk to Liam.

 

\---

 

Daniel arrives to Harry’s place with a family sized pizza. He didn’t really bring it for his friend as he knows that Harry doesn’t fancy unhealthy food. Harry opens the door with his dog in his arms and leads the other lad to the living room where they share the pizza, trying not to let Dots steal any of it. They eat in silence, Daniel trying to small talk but not really receiving any answers.

 

“Ok, do I have to play the therapist role or will you finally just spill the beans?” he finally asks once all the pizza is gone.

 

“It’s just… He promised this won’t be the last time we saw each other. But I’m worried, what if it was? It was all so perfect and for a moment I really believed I got him, but of course it was too early for him. He’s just so amazing you know, I haven’t been this interested in anyone since I was a teenager I guess.” Harry answers talking faster than usual while he digs into his curls.

 

“You do sound like a teenager when you talk about him.” His friend smirks. “But don’t lose hope just yet, he promised you that this wasn’t your last meeting, right? Just give him some time. Maybe text him. Or maybe don’t. Why am I the one you are asking for relationship advice when I’ve never been in a serious one?” They both lough at this because yes, he is definitely not someone you should ask for help in this topic.

 

\---

 

Luckily Liam is not busy that day so he arrives to Louis’ house about an hour after Louis’ texting him asking for help. Liam of course got really worried immediately and forced Louis to tell him what kind of help he needed. When he only wrote “It’s something we talked about last time” Liam started to suspect that it’s probably something in his love life.

 

Louis invites him in, gets them both a beer and for the first time ever he tells someone everything about what happened since that Wednesday morning he walked into that huge modern building. Liam does not interrupt him, he only nods here and there with an understanding expression. When Louis finishes his story he feels like he got off a huge weight off his shoulder and he has so many questions to ask his friend.

 

“So I feel like a dumbass literally running away and crying in his arms but what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’m so scared of this whole thing, it goes against everything I thought of myself until now and I lose all my confidence when I’m with him because I have no idea what I’m doing.” This is the first time Liam interrupts him.

 

“But does it feel right when you are with him?” The question makes Louis pause for a minute. He thinks of the way it felt to be held in those arms, how perfectly he fit there, how they could talk for hours and hours without ever having uncomfortable silence and how that kiss felt. And Louis is really scared to admit it but he is pretty sure the feeling he got during the kiss was what others consider “butterflies in their stomach”. He never had that feeling before.

 

“Yes.” He ends up replying in a small voice.

 

“Then why are you so scared Lou? To me it sounds like that guy would bring down the stars for you.”

 

“I don’t know. I think I’m mainly scared of being judged. It could and possibly would ruin my carreer.” He says looking down on his feet.

 

“Hey, I’m the living example of coming out during the promo of a new album can actually increase the sales.” Liam winks at him. “And your fans always hated on all the women you’ve ever dated, so they would probably be much more accepting towards a guy. You know, they have this weird thing that they find two hot guys dating each other even hotter.” They both laugh at this and Louis knows that his friend is right, it is totally what happened when Liam and Zayn came out after being in the closet for a while. Louis has many other questions that he’s just too afraid to ask yet so he decides on just asking Liam about his boyfriend.

 

\---

 

Once Daniel left, Harry just lays in his bed, softly petting his dog while watching The Notebook. But when it comes to his favorite part, he gets distracted by his phone buzzing. It is almost midnight so he is very surprised that anyone would text him so late. But when he opens his phone and reads the text he’s even more surprised.

 

**Hi Harold, are u asleep yet? I could really use your company and i have a promise to fulfill ;) x i’ll be there in 20 min xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi oi, the new chapter is here! :3 And it's a super fluffy one, I hope you will enjoy it after all the drama so far! Please let me know what you think and all kudos are appreciated :3  
> The new chapter comes at the beginning of next week!  
> Enjoy! :3

Once again, when Louis arrives to Harry’s door, he loses all his confidence. Seriously, what is he even doing here?

 

“Man up Tommo, you can’t run away again.” He tells himself as he rings the doorbell.

 

When the door opens, Harry’s arms are around him just as fast as they were the last time. Louis hugs back without hesitation, enjoying being held tight.

 

“Lou I’m so happy you are here.” Harry says with his voice full of affection, emphasizing his sentence with a small peck on Louis’ hair in the end. The smaller man is pretty sure that his heart just melted and he knows he made the best decision after talking to Liam by coming back to Harry’s place.

 

“I’m really sorry I ran away and I felt like I have to make it up for you.” He says on a soft voice, hiding his head in the crook of Harry’s neck. He gets so soft around the green-eyed man and at this point he’s not even ashamed of it because Harry was nothing but gentle from the very first moment. He feels like he finally dares to admit that all he actually wants is the man he’s hugging tight. And he wants those cherry lips on his again and again but he’s not sure whether Harry would want to do it again after he ran away. “Would you be ok with trying it again?” He ends up asking shyly.

 

“Trying what again?” Harry moves a little so they are still in each other’s arms, but now having eye contact. Louis cannot hold back biting his lips and letting his eyes wonder down to Harry’s pretty red lips. He doesn’t have to say a word because the other man just lifts one hand to cup his face and slowly closes the distance between them.

 

The kiss again starts off slow and insecure, Harry making sure that the beautiful man in his arms can take full control. Louis’ thin lips feel surprisingly soft against his and after a couple of seconds he can feel his tongue asking for entrance. Harry guarantees it and the kiss gets much deeper immediately. Small fingers tucking on curls, pulling Harry impossibly closer, strong arms holding Louis’ slim body steady. Harry feels like he’s walking on clouds.

 

When the kiss eventually breaks, they still don’t let each other go, having their foreheads pressed together, breathing heavy. Louis doesn’t want to open his eyes, he’s too scared that it would break the magic of the moment. His head is dizzy, knees are weak and he’s pretty sure no one has ever kissed him like this before.

 

“Lou, please look at me.” And damn that deep voice will be the end of him! He opens his eyes and green eyes meet blue and he cannot hold back a giggle. He wants to slap himself on the forehead, because when do real men ever giggle? But seeing Harry’s dimple-popping smile, he figures that he should definitely not care about gender stereotypes around the taller man.

 

“You are so beautiful Louis, you don’t even know.” And with that Harry kisses him again.

 

\---

 

Louis falls asleep on Harry’s shoulder on the couch and Harry can’t be happier. He looks down at the sweet creature quietly snoring next to him, eyelashes long and thick, lips parted just a tiny bit, hair messed as always and hand resting in Harry’s, just above his heart. Louis’ hand is so small compared to his, just like his entire figure and Harry loves it. He slowly caresses those delicate fingers and smiles to himself. Normally he’s the one that likes to be held but around Louis he just gets all protective. This is definitely not how he imagined Louis when his manager asked for an appointment for him, sure he seemed down to earth, but Harry never thought he would be such a bright person. He nuzzles his nose to Louis’ hair and falls asleep quickly.

 

\---

 

Louis wakes up to smelling food. And it actually smells amazing. Wait, what happened, where is he? He opens his eyes and when he realizes he’s still at Harry’s apartment, the other man probably cooking breakfast, he just cannot stop smiling. He walks to the kitchen and hugs Harry tight from behind. He lays his head on the taller man’s back and lets his hands wonder around feeling Harry’s toned abs through his T-shirt. Images of his shirtless body find their way to Louis’ brain, and oh no, this cannot be happening. Louis cannot get a morning boner, not now, in Harry’s apartment, while he’s hugging him tight _from behind_. He quickly lets go of him and pecks his shoulder instead.

 

“Good morning Lou, did you sleep well?” And for once Louis did sleep well.

 

\---

 

After breakfast Louis insists to go home because he wouldn’t want to disturb Harry, but the other man convinces him that it would be a lazy Sunday anyways so they might as well just spend it together. After making lasagna for lunch they just cuddle for a while with Dots on their lap, watching some romcoms. Louis rests his head on Harry’s shoulder and they tangle their legs together while Harry plays with his hair. The rest of the afternoon goes by super lazy, stealing kisses from each other and just talking about anything and everything.

 

Harry asks Louis to spend the night again because his first appointment tomorrow is only at 10. He agrees without hesitation but asks for a shower and some clean clothes which Harry immediately guarantees. Of course all the clothes are way too big for Louis but they smell like Harry which is obviously amazing. But when Harry leaves for a shower and tells Louis to just make himself at home, he lays down in the other man’s bed. Soft duvets, even softer pillows, and the sweet vanilla-like scent of Harry is even stronger there. Louis has never felt more comfortable in anyone else’s bed, except for maybe his mother’s bed when he had nightmares as a kid and his mum let him sleep in her bed.

 

When Harry walks out of the shower, Louis thinks he’s hotter than ever. His hair is still dripping, his T-shirt is white and kind of sheer, and the shorts he’s wearing show off long, pretty legs.

 

“Ah, I see, you _did_ make yourself at home. Is it comfy enough?” Harry says with a cheeky tone with a fond smile on his face.

 

“It would be even better if you were already laying here with me.” Louis winks at him and Harry doesn’t hesitate to join him in the soft bed. This time he is the one resting his head on the other man’s shoulder and even though Louis is much smaller than him, he loves the way he holds him. He feels so safe and like everything is about to set in place. He looks up at Louis through his long lashes and green eyes meet blue again but soon Louis closes his eyes to kiss his lips. Harry suddenly feels heated from having Louis in his bed, dressed head to toe in his clothes, moving his perfect lips against his softly, so he has to break the kiss before he would scare the other man away. Louis pecks him a couple of times on his forehead before he whispers “Good night Darling” and Harry swears that he will fall for him much sooner than he should.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> I really did not plan to disappear for so long so I'm sorry about it again :/ I will try to figure out a more reasonable updating schedule.  
> But the new chapter is finally here! Things are proceeding even further in this one ;)  
> Enjoy!

Louis tosses and turns, he cannot fall asleep. Spending two nights with sleeping in Harry’s arms was apparently enough for Louis to get used to the feeling. He misses the other man’s presence, the way he held him so tight and so protective yet so gentle. But when he finally falls asleep, he still dreams about those beautiful green eyes and perfect red lips.

 

_He kisses down his neck, biting and sucking on it, leaving bright red love bites on the beautiful pale skin. He suddenly crooks his fingers inside the other man and that leaves him panting, literally begging him to take him already. He doesn’t hesitate but pulls his fingers out of the tight hole which earns him an annoyed sound from the other man due to the sudden emptiness. He immediately instructs him to turn around while he’s adding a thick layer of lube on his penis and slowly starts pushing in. Tears start to fill up the other man’s eyes as he pushes in all the way, so he gives him time to adjust while leaving kisses everywhere on his shoulder blades, whispering him sweet nothings. Once he gets the permission to move, he starts off at a slow pace, making sure he wouldn’t hurt his partner. But the more they get into it, the quicker and harder it gets. Names being screamed following loud moans, the bedframe hitting the wall, and the sound of skin hitting skin are surrounding them as they reach their climaxes._

_\---_

 

The next two weeks go by in the same rhythm, Louis stopping by Harry’s place every evening, sometimes just for an hour to catch up but most of the times he ends up staying the night. They get to know each other better and better day by day and Louis has never felt this interested in anyone before. They exchange kisses, they sleep in each other’s arms but they never go anywhere further than that. Harry just seemed so perfect in every sense except that one thing that still made Louis worried sometimes. They were both men and even though Louis slowly became okay with the idea of dating someone the same gender, he was still beyond worried about how his management and the media would react if anything got out. However his management was more than satisfied with him lately, as he was much more productive in the studio in the last two weeks than ever before.

 

While he’s writing down some more song lyric ideas he comes to realization that he cannot stop thinking about Harry while writing. In fact all the lyrics are about him and they are very romantic. He makes a decision with a fond smile on his face and leaves a little earlier than he was planning to.

 

He arrives to Harry’s door with a bouquet of red roses. He has never bought flowers to any of his dates before. Is Harry even his date? What are they really? They shoud definitely talk about this. The opening door cuts his thoughts again. Harry is wearing a plain white shirt which fits tight on his muscles and Louis could swear the other man is getting hotter each day.

 

“Are those roses for me?” Harry asks with a dimple popping smile.

 

“I thought you’d appreciate them.” Louis says sounding shy.

 

“Of course I do! Honestly no one ever brought me flowers. It’s so sweet of you.” Harry says with sparkling eyes. He steps closer to Louis and kisses him tenderly. “Come in dear, dinner is ready.”

 

Louis follows Harry straight to the kitchen and as Harry leans over the counter to get their food in plates, Louis hugs him from behind. He has to stand on his tiptoes to be able to reach Harry’s neck. He slowly starts kissing down on it, until Harry leans his head backwards to give him more access. Louis bites back a smirk and starts licking and sucking on the taller man’s neck which earns him a small gasp as a reward. When he bites down, Harry turns around and lets Louis push him against the kitchen counter. Louis can feel his cock twitch with interest but this time he doesn’t pull back, he actually presses even closer to the other man. Harry leans down to capture his lips in a passionate kiss and lets his hands wonder around the smaller man in his arms. Louis is completely lost in the sensation, and when Harry’s hands find their way to cup his bum he lets out a needy moan. Yes, he’s definitely getting hard now. Even though he has no idea what he’s doing, he just relies on his senses as he starts undoing the top button on Harry’s shirt.

 

When there are only 3 buttons left, his mind starts to wander to dangerous territories, asking himself what does he even want from Harry? Sure, he has dreamed about sexual thigs with him so many times. But could he return the favor? Could he even touch the other man? But he thought the same about kissing him, and yet here they are, snogging in Harry’s kitchen. So Louis decides to continue unbuttoning Harry’s shirt. In the worst case he could still back out, couldn’t he? Harry would definitely understand.

 

When he finishes undoing the last button on the white shirt, Harry can immediately feel gentle fingertips run over his toned abs, with a really light touch. When they reach his nipples he lets out a loud moan into Louis’ mouth. That apparently gave the missing confidence to Louis, because he starts playing with his nipple whit one hand while the other one roams around his back. It’s too much but not enough at the same time.

 

Harry suddenly breaks the kiss, leaving both of them panting. He leans down to Louis ear, licks at his earlobe and whispers to it with a deep, rough voice.

 

“Bedroom. Now.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> The first chapter that is basically full of smut. But there might be a twist to it ;)  
> I really enjoyed writing this one, and as always kudos and comments are highly appreciated! :3  
> Enjoy! :3

Harry’s deep voice itself was enough to send shivers down Louis’ spine. When they reach Harry’s room, Louis turns to close the door just to find himself pushed up against it a second later. A large hand is cupping his bum while another caresses his neck lightly. Green eyes meet blue and they both find themselves panting before they close the tiny gap between their lips in a hungry kiss. Harry is fully grinding on him by now while massaging his bum and Louis could swear he has never felt more turned on before. He decides it’s time to remove Harry’s shirt completely so he could finally admire and touch all the other man’s muscles. Harry could probably hold him against the door while fucking him rough. Wait what, that is totally never gonna happen!

 

He has to break the kiss, his thoughts are a complete mess once again. But apparently Harry has a better idea and once their lips are apart he removes Louis’ T-shirt and starts kissing all over his body. Louis is still fighting his thoughts and just trying to enjoy the moment when he feels Harry’s hands and the button of his skinny jeans, looking back up at him, quietly asking “May I?”. Louis is panting heavily but instinctively just nods. He’s been dreaming about this moment since the first time he met Harry. He tries to convince himself and ignore all his doubts. He only knows the other man for a couple of weeks yet he already feels like he could fall for him. Which has never happened before.  The exact same moment Harry finally helps him out of his skinny jeans and palms his cock through the soft fabric of his underwear. Louis’ head rolls back and lets out a small sigh. His hands start to map every inch of Harry’s upper body again and he can feel the taller man’s teeth roughly sucking his neck, definitely leaving marks. And he loves it, he loves the idea of getting marked up by such an amazing man. A _man._ Oh fuck.

 

Harry starts kissing down his body again and ends up on his knees. Louis just can’t get enough of the sight. He buries one of his hands in Harry’s hair, softly petting him while the other man looks up at him through thick lashes. He slowly takes off Louis’ underwear and takes a moment to just admire the other man’s body. He looks up at his partner just for a brief second as if to see what he’s about to do is ok, but Louis seems so mesmerized that he decides to just go for it. He licks a straight line up to the top of Louis’ cock then puts his lips around the already red head. He does his best to keep his eyes locked with the other man’s, eager to see any reaction. And Louis is so responsive. His eyes shut closed, his fingers dig deep in Harry’s hair while the other man stats bopping his head. And Louis is loud. All the nasty sounds he lets out have an immediate effect on Harry’s cock, already feeling his jeans too tight. When he goes back to focus on the pre-cum leaking head, licking and sucking hard on it, Louis opens his eyes again, lips parted, body glistering from sweat.

 

“Fuck Harold you are so beautiful like this. You have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about this. And it’s just so much better than I thought it would be.” Louis whispers to him, looking deep in his eyes. Harry can feel butterflies in his stomach and he must kiss Louis because he’s so lucky he found this literal angel. He gets off is knees and captures Louis’ lips in a passionate kiss, leading him towards his bed. When he pushes the smaller man down on the bed, he looks up at him with huge ocean blue eyes, full of lust. Harry knows he’s far too gone for those eyes.

 

He gets back to work, one hand helping him stroke what he cannot reach with his mouth, the other one roaming around the beautiful body under him. A tiny hand stops his, interlocking their fingers. Louis is a moaning mess now, continuously chanting Harry’s name and cursing and this is the hottest thing Harry’s ever heard. Not even a minute later Louis warns him.

 

“Fuck Hazza, I’m so close.” Harry speeds up more and that pushes Louis over the edge. He comes hard into Harry’s throat, screaming his name. He loves every second of it, the way Louis tastes, the little puffs of air he lets out as he’s trying to catch his breath, the curves of his body, and just how beautiful and peaceful his face looks like.

 

He crawls up on the bed right next to the smaller man and holds him close. Louis nuzzles up to his neck and places loads of small kisses there. He curves his bum right into Harry’ hand and they just fit perfectly. Harry’s jeans are definitely way too tight now. He moves his hand from Louis’ bum to get rid of his pants, but as he undoes the button, Louis immediately pulls away from him.

 

“What are you doing?” He asks with an expression Harry cannot place. He has no idea how to react, so he answers with a confused smile.

 

“Well you know I have kind of a situation which is not too comfy in such tight jeans.”

 

“So what are you gonna do then? Get yourself off right here?” Louis asks in a rather rude tone now.

 

“I’m not gonna force you into anything Louis but it would be nice to get some release.” Harry answers totally confused.

 

“That’s fuckin’ gross.” Harry is speechless for a second. All he can reply is a quiet “What?”

 

“I’m not _gay!_ I won’t just suck you off or even touch you!” Harry just fish mouths at him when he sees the disgust in those angelic blue eyes.

 

“But Louis I just sucked you off and I am a man too!” Harry says now starting to get angry.

 

“But that’s completely different.” Yes, Harry is definitely angry now. He can’t believe this. Louis was _kissing_ him just minutes ago and telling him how many times he’d dreamed about this, and now he’s telling him that he’s not gay?

 

“So am I just a mouth you can fuck when you feel like it? Is that what the last couple of weeks meant to you?” He says standing up from his bed, shouting at the other man. Those beautiful blue eyes look scared now.

 

“No Harry I –“ Louis says in a small voice but Harry won’t listen to him. He doesn’t _care_. The only problem is he does. He cuts Louis off mid-sentence.

 

“Get the fuck out.” He answers quietly, trying to sound calm.

 

“What?” Louis eyes widen.

 

“I said get the fuck out of my house.”

 

“Harry please I’m – “

 

“NOW!” Harry shouts at him. Louis silently nods and quickly gathers his clothes avoiding Harry’s glare. Once he’s left the room, Harry collapses on his bed. He’s totally _not_ gonna cry over some whatshisname popstar who might have just broken his heart.

 

Except he will.


End file.
